Walking away from it all

Getting that text && sending my scheduled message i had wrote, maybe 6 hours prior to the decision, broke me. Because my message was to be sent this morning. He made his decision tonight. idk how to come about this. Because although i wrote him telling him to pick her, && hes walking away from it all, makes me wonder, can he not decide whom he truly wants?

im broken, sitting here, drinking, crying. theres nothing left to do.
because in the morning i get to explain to a 5 && 4 year old, that mommy && daddy arent together again. That its all over again. That mommy is done with all of this. 

I cant do this, not again. Not after seeing what I did && how i destroyed him. I'm gone. because the girl that once cared, is going to no longer care.