Ever since I started this lovely little journey called life, I've been a mother, a daughter, a wife, an addict, a survivor, a winner, a loser. Ive been fat, skinny, sick, healthy. I've been it all.
& it wasn't until recently I realized that it can do nothing but go up from here!
When you get away from a man who never cared for you like he claimed, you go through a lot! Whether it be denial, heartache, relapse, whatever the journey, its there.
Its been almost three whole solid years of me literally beating myself up for all the stupid shit I've done in my life. Especially after those previous years.
You try being broken beyond repair. You try getting beat, && almost killed by someone you thought loved you. && then I want you to try on for size, what it feels like, to again fall into their trap, their lie, just like all the other girls did, when hes happily with someone.
It wasn't until my conscience broke through yelling, "HEY DUMB ASS!!! REMEMBER BEFORE? REMEMBER MEGAN? REMEMBER ALICIA? your just the side girl, like they were. the secret that he doesn't want to show off. Just like every time before."
It wasn't until then, i realized, i have the entire world in my hands! WHY THE FUCK WOULD I GO BACK TO THAT?!?
I have an amazing man who I'm planning life with! I have two beautiful boys that he claims as his. I've helped so many people working at this rehab. I'm continuing to help people everyday in the business I'm not conducting. This is all I've ever wanted to do! && everyday I have to keep asking myself, what was I thinking? To look that far back & think that's what I needed?
Life has a funny way of working. && everyday I'm looking more && more forward to it.
Everyday is a journey. Everyday is an adventure. Take everyday like its your last.
That's the best advice I could ever give any. Because that's what i live for.
