Head up, keep smiling, stay strong, move on .. Thts wht im living by as of now ..
Its harder than i thought it would be, vut part of me feels like in the end, it'll all be worth it ..
Being alone gives me time to think, giving me time to think, makes me see wht i need to in me .. It makes me see wht has to change, && who i can really trust && who should deserve my love ..
Im pushing away everyone .. The guy i married ((i dont think i could deal with tht anymore anyway)), the best friend that made me feel important ((i'll always have false hopes anyway)), any form of friends i had before .. The only ones im keeping around are my family, && my boys ..
There's so much tht is running thru my mind, tht it's kind of difficult to comprehend .. Because it isnt just one subject at a time, no .. Its a million .. From the past, to the future, to the present time im living in .. Its hard to just stop all of em at once .. Especially at night when its just me && the kids are asleep ..
My mind wont shut off && i just lay there && think .. && think .. && think ..
How do u make it stop ?? How does it go away ?? How do i become a better me with the past constantly haunting me ??
I doubt i'll ever be good enough for anyone .. Im too emotionally damaged .. Too fucked up .. Idk ..
Ima continue to smile .. Continue to live .. Continue to live my life && hope tht i can for once, be happy ..
